On this day in 1785, Benjamin Franklin announced the invention of bi-focals. For all of us who have moved on to the wonderful world of progressive lenses, thanks Ben. If you see someone bobbing his head like a crazed parakeet, you can assume they are wearing progressives. A new disease has been discovered for such unfortunates: Neck-jerk-itis.
On this day in 1876, Boston’s Joe Borden threw the first no-hitter in National League history. Watching the Atlanta Braves, I wonder if ole Joe has anything left on his fastball. It would be great if he could still hit a lick.
On this day in 1618, the 2nd Defenestration of Prague occurred. What is a ‘defenestration’ you ask? It is the act of throwing someone or something out of a window. The first of these breath-taking events happened in 1419. The second involved two Catholic lord regents and their secretary. Faster than you can say ‘defenestration’ these three were tossed out the window to land on the street 70 feet below. Here’s the good news: None of the men were injured seriously. The bad news: the incident set off the 30 Years War. Here are the rules I just made up for defenestrating somebody:
- Make sure you are higher than the first floor or you lose some of the drama.
- Make sure you have enough help to pick up and throw the miscreant.
- Make sure you open the window.
- Make sure they guy doesn’t have a bunch of big, strong friends.
- Make sure you record this for the sake of history – you could have the 3rd Defenestration all to yourself.
So what will you do to make history today? This is the only May 23, 2016 you get. It’s a gift from your Creator. Unwrap the gift and have at it.